It came in the mail from Amazon perhaps 4 days before I decided to try to do some Vegan business, and ALL MONTH LONG, it taunted me. See, when the cookbook for the month is chosen, it stays there. That was a struggle to say the least.

So, in an effort to try to align my monthly cookbook selection with my current move toward a more plant friendly lifestyle, I went to the BookMark in search of some Vegan books. Much to my surprise, they had quite a few, including the Skinny Bitch Vegan Swaps! However, that’s already on it’s way from Amazon to the Mail Store (aka, the Post Office), so I didn’t need to pick that up. What DID catch my eye was the Alicia Silverstone book, The Kind Diet: A Simple Guide to Feeling Great, Losing Weight and Saving the Planet. I’m already following some of her boards on Pinterest, and I like what I see, so I picked up the book and put it in my cart.

Then I walked around a bit, and BAM, here was a book that caught my eye:

The Back in the Day Bakery Cookbook. I saw it had a forward by Paula Deen, and I immediately picked it up.

Hot damn.

The recipes in this book are clearly to drool for, and have titles like Bacon Jam Empanadas, Guava Sweet-Cheese Turnovers, and Brown Sugar Banana Bread.

So, here I am, holding two cookbooks in my hands… one, has decidedly vegan fare, and the other has food that makes you wanna slap somebody.

What to do…what do do…

I bought both and put them both on my sideboard.

I’ve told people I’m trying to update my diet, but I make it very clear I’m no hero…I’m a fallen soul for calling out loud! It’s HARD to make the hard decisions and choices, and this is one of them, for sure. I’m not sure if I will ever be 100% vegan. I’m not sure I really WANT to. But, I do know that I want to shift the percentage to 90% plant based, and 10% animal based food. Right now I’m at 80/20 and that’s WAY better than being at 30/70 like I was before.

What I also know is I feel TONS better. My energy is better. I’m more centered and focused. I’m far more capable now to handle basic run of the mill stress. My body is also stronger. The headaches are few and far between. My mind clicks better. Alex feels better too (He’s got an even stronger will that I do).

So, what is the lesson learned via the May Cookbooks… It’s okay to be indecisive. It’s okay to be torn. It’s also okay to explore. I will make a recipe from each of the books sometime this month, and report back.

Until then,

Ciao

I used to read A LOT! I still read, but not as much as I did. When I was growing up, it’s all I did do! Well, now, I’m in this “I’m going to hunt down and collect all the books I gave away because I didn’t know any better” phase.

First up, the Linda series.

I had ALL the books. I waited for them to come out. I read them twice, sometimes three times. I feel like I really need to own them again and read the WHOLE thing.

Next, continue on with Eleanor Hibbert.

If you haven’t read Eleanor Hibbert,  I just don’t know what to say. Juicy. Juicy. Juicy. Intrigue galore. Plots for days. She wrote under a couple of other Pseudonyms. I used to own several Victoria Holt books. The best were the ones that she wrote under Phillppa Carr. I clearly need some Victoria Holt on my Kindle.

A must read if you want to get started with her works: Daughter of Deceit

The Cat Who Series…by Lillian Jackson Braun.

I love a good mystery and I LOVED these books. The Cat Who Turned on and Off is really good.

The Alphabet Series aka the Kinsey stories by Sue Grafton.

I don’t know where I got off track. I think it was R? Perhaps S? I have them both and I”m terribly behind. V has just been released. What I DO know is that I have been reading these stories for the past 15 years. Time to get on it.

What are some of your favorite “old books”. What do you feel you need to revisit again to either relive a memory, or just enjoy a good old fashioned read?

Well, as I write this post, J was looking over my shoulder and read the title. Pesky readers. He’s like, “what do you love?”

Classic.

Well, as many know I watch a lot of TV! Not a whole bunch where it is completely overwhelming, but just enough to keep me very occupied, engaged and in touch with “today’s pop culture.”

My favorite show right now has got to be Mad Men. I have blogged many times before about Mad Men, and I have blogged about specific episodes. This season is by far one of the best. I have decided that if there is someone out there that does not love Mad Men as well I can’t be friends with them. J/K. (Yeah, not really).

The episodes are so DEEP and meaningful. Each and every episode is like a fine work of art that makes me long for deep conversations with like minded people about love, loss, reality, and the meaning of happiness.

The best episode of perhaps the entire show was Signal 30. I have written about two other episode before. I wrote about The Wheel (season 1) and The Chrysanthemum and the Sword from season four. Those other two episodes pale in comparison to the artistry of Signal 30. The direction.The acting. The plot. It’s AMAZING. From beginning to end, you feel this emotional tug and pull. Pete Campbell (played brilliantly by Vincent Kartheiser), fully encapsulates the angst of today’s modern struggle. You give your all to what you think you should give it to, and realize that your entire life comes up short somehow. Mad men does mid-century angst right, versus what Revolutionary Road with Kate and Leo did WRONG, and that’s show us what a sham life we all lead. We all sell out somehow, and this episode showed how this can happen, and how our sheer apathy propels us to do nothing about it.

When I was 19 or so, I remember sitting in my English lit classes, thinking about how ONE day, I was going to write that one great American novel. I would think about imagery, focus and design. I would theorize about character studies. I would think about how we all have a story to tell, but few tell it. Those who do, and do it well have the power to change the world.

Signal 30 was an episode that drew me back to a time when I used to have these kinds of conversations. I had them with peers, friends, people. I would talk about literature, films and art and talk about meanings. What does something mean. Those conversations, these days, are few and far between. The people I chat with are the pre-schooler set and it doesn’t go much farther than the latest legos and barbies.

After most Mad Men episodes, I go online, and read some blogs. I peruse some interviews. I always feel like I need more. After Signal 30, I sat there thinking about how no matter how many places I went to discuss, it would still fall short of that personal conversation about it, over coffee, with a dear friend.

Oh, how TV shows us the longings of our heart. Well played, it can also change the world. I know that it has for me. I have become fascinated with mid-century life. It’s my new current passion. I am currently reading Elsewhere U.S.A. It is a compelling read about how we lost our connections with people and joined forces with bytes and chips. I am ordering tons of magazines and cookbooks from 1950-1970. I love to read vintage magazine and transport to a simpler time. I’m trying to release the hellatious hold FB had over me (that’s a whole other blog post). From a sociological standpoint, Mid-century people were right on point in certain respects, and now that we can look back at their lives, we see the mess they were crashing into.

When all is said and done, the true allure of Mad Men has always been that it is a gilded time. A time of change. A time of reflection. A time of sheer ignorance of the mess to come. What would Don Draper say about the steaming pile of crap we live in today…

He would simply say that we had realized our reality…The one we we sold.

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. If you are not watching Mad Men, what ARE you doing?

Below are some of my favorites from this year so far:

I’m sure the next 1/2 of the year will be equally as amazing.

I think about death a lot. I sometimes wonder if other people think about it too. Like, where we go after we die? What is Heaven REALLY like. Do we get to see our loved ones in heaven? Will we see people we don’t like there? How do you reconcile your life here on earth, there? I have a lot of books on what happens after we are gone. I have some books about how to not be sad while you are here, and how to keep a positive spirit, and understand things happen for a reason. Why God allows suffering on earth is a very interesting concept and is what leads a lot of people to atheism. I just hope and pray that people still keep their faith through all we go through, and see.

As we get older, we think about life in a deeper way. I sometimes wish I could go back to that childhood innocence of not thinking about what happens when it all ends. I pray for all these families that have been impacted by the loss of a child, or a child being hurt.

If there is anyone out there who needs additional support just to make it through a rough spot, I really recommend Disappointment with God, by Philip Yancy. I think I’m going to read it again.

I do know that I have really felt like I need to focus more on living for the moment. Take each moment with gusto. Like it was posted on Avery’s blog, “Take me out to the ballgame & then whatever I bring to life, because I don’t have time to wait for life to bring anything to me.”

Yeah, I know this was a gloom and doom post. But, not really. I do believe in God. I believe in a larger plan. I also think that there are a lot of unknowns. All you can do is grab life by the horns, cherish the sweet moments, forget the bad, and smile when it all becomes too much.

Like many busy people, it can be difficult to find enough time in the day. Here it is, 8:10 pm my time, 2:10pm EST time and I had to just stop, put my head around the day, and digress for 10 minutes before I dive back into my classes and work. I always tell me students and faculty members to take breaks, but I don’t…well, here goes my blog break.

A few people have asked me to blog more frequently about my efforts to get more fit. I’m sure most people simply want to see what I do, and watch in amazement. Perhaps, some just want to see it all laid out for them so they can try it later on. Maybe some just want to see me write about recipes.   More than anything, I bet some are like, blog so we can see you blog more. I have been actively blogging for nearly 8 years now, but with time and kids and a lack of focus, I somewhat slipped. So, whatever the motivation people have for wanting to see this blog pick up a bit, okay, I’m game.

First, let’s talk about my work out. When the new year rolled around, I knew I wanted to get in shape, but the weather was keeping me down. Lots of people I know say I don’t need to work out. I’m skinny enough as it is! Well, I don’t have to be the first to tell you that because you are skinny, does not mean you are fit. Just because you fit into a size 4, does not mean you are healthy. Also, because you are able to suck in your gut for pics does not mean you are genuinely photogenic. That was me, and more. Also, my eating habits were simply affecting my energy levels, period.

I don’t own a scale. I don’t own a measuring tape. So, don’t expect to hear me talk about how weight or measurements a lot. If I happen to step on a scale somewhere, or get measured, I’ll talk about it, but what I focus on when it comes to working out are the following things:

1) How I feel naked

2) How I feel in a swimsuit

3) How my size four jeans fit

4) How my size 2 skinny jeans from White House Black Market fit (the holy grail of jean I have never been able to fit, but bought on sale, and hope to fit into one day).

Before you start hating on me for crying about a size 2, just remember that back in 2006 I weighed 170lbs and rocked a size 12 at Express (which is a 14 at Gap). I also had two back to back pregnancies in 2007 and 2008. I can now do a 4 at Express. It’s called hard work. Okay, done hating. Let’s continue.

I started Turbo Fire because my friend Courtney said she was doing it and it was really fun! So, I decided to try it out as well. From March 7 to April 7, doing Turbo Fire, I lost 9lbs. Around week five of Turbo Fire, I was really started to feel super strong, but also felt my thighs getting bigger. Uh oh. I don’t want big thighs. Back to the drawing board. I was sick for a week after Easter, and it was a great time to take a work out break, and plan my next strategy. I did one TF and then the next week started running again. Immediate thigh slim down. Gotta love running.

Last week, I asked the hubcap, A, to see if he wanted to do Insanity with me as I had seen the results on the Beachbody site and I know other people that have had great success with the program. He surprised me with a resounding yes! Yay, a work out buddy. Game on.

On top of all this we decided to eliminate meat and phase out dairy/eggs. Easy enough.

So, on day three I’m feeling pretty good! Lots of energy today, but I was CRAZY sore from Insanity, day 2. Today, I put on my best game face and powered through Cardio/Resistance. It was tough, but I”m glad I did it.

I also made a new recipe! Drunken Noodles in Cashew-Shiitake Broth. I found it in the April 2012 Shape magazine and it was taken from the new Chloe book. For more great recipes from Chloe, check out her sweet blog.  http://chefchloe.com/vegan-recipes.html

Drunken Noodles in Cashew-Shiitake Broth

• 1 6-ounce package dried udon noodles
• 1/4 cup cashews
• 2 tb. olive oil
• 1/2 pd. shiitake mushrooms, stemmed and sliced
• 3 scallions, ends trimmed and thinly sliced
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 tb. grated fresh ginger
• 1/4 jalapeno pepper, seeded and finely chopped
• pinch ground cayenne pepper
• 5 cups low-sodium vegetable broth
• 1 tb. rice vinegar (can substitute apple cider vinegar and a pinch of sugar)
• 1 tb. toasted sesame oil
• sea salt
• 4 tb. chopped fresh cilantro

Cook udon noodles according to package directions; drain and set aside. Toast cashews in a dry pan over medium heat for three minutes or until lightly brown and fragrant. Remove from heat and chop roughly.

Meanwhile, heat oil in a large pan over medium-high. Add mushrooms and scallions; cook for 5 minutes or until mushrooms are soft. Mix in garlic, ginger, jalapeno, and cayenne pepper and cook for 2 minutes. 

Add broth to the mushroom mixture and bring to a boil. Add noodles, reduce heat to low, and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes. Turn of  heat and stir in vinegar and sesame oil. Season to taste with salt.

Ladle into 4 bowls and garnish each with 1 tablespoon of cashews and 1 teaspoon of cilantro; serve hot.

It was yum!

Well, after weeks of being virtually prodded by Janelle, I made the leap and rented Forks over Knives. Anything that can turn my fellow cookbook loving, garbage bread making, prime rib slinging friend vegan was something I needed to investigate. I’ve watched documentaries like this one in the past, and like others, it makes you think, shows you that what you eat sucks, and that you need to back away from fast food. Well, I really don’t eat a lot of fast food. But, I do like to go out to restaurants of dubious nature (Chili’s, etc). I also LOVE Chinese food (um, mystery, low grade meat?). Above all that, I LOVE ethic foods that involve a lot of meats. Carne Asada tacos…Chicken Enchiladas…Green Chili stew, etc. I’m from NM for crying out loud. If it doesn’t have something that once lived in sauce, it’s just not the same.

But, then came the nightmares. ALL last night, I had scary dreams about what I was eating! I had one dream where I was roaming around the supermarket desperately trying to find soy, and could not find some, but then I finally found some and my kids were malnourished. Then, there was another dream with a bunch of cows chasing me down.

As I made my egg white omelet this morning, I was plagued by immense guilt like I was just putting plain ‘ol poison in my body.

Sigh, so clearly, I feel somewhat convicted, but how convicted do I feel? Being a Vegetarian is tough. However, being a Vegan is way tougher.Bye Cheese. Bye Milk. Bye Eggs. Bye Dairy. Think about how many things you buy that contain dairy, or that you need to MAKE things like pancakes. I mean, if we do this, it will be a very time conscious event for a while.

Then, the cost. It’s SO expensive to eat completely organically, gluten-free, etc. The gluten free wheat pasta is $4 where the regular kind is $1.29. But, can you put a price on health? I suppose it is far cheaper to eat well, then deal with the repercussions later on.

Next, my cookbook collection! If I go Vegan what the heck will happen to my illustrious cookbook collection. I recently bought the latest Southern Living heritage cookbook and the new Pioneer Woman cookbook. Each page has mouthwatering delights. Vegan recipes? Perhaps 4.

Again, I would not have really seriously considered watching Fork over Knives without knowing that Janelle went Vegan after watching it. She’s one of the few cooks I truly admire, and to know that she’s making it work made me think…

Well, I’m going to the commissary today and start looking a few options. We’ll see how this transitions over time. I’m going to do it naturally, and see how I can phase out dairy. I’ll keep the blog posted.

I have my Facebook set up to roll posts from groups to which I belong to yahoo e-mail.

This is what I read from a friend Sheri: RIP Julie and Timmy.

I immediately sat up, grabbed my Mac which sits on the floor next to my bed an immediately logged into facebook and into my Mommy board.

First, here’s some background. 8 years ago, back in 2004, a bunch of girls that were trying to get knocked up found themselves on Babycenter. It was a random TTC group, but amazing in a great way. Girls fell pregnant, some did not, and for some it took way longer. It took me until 2007 to finally have Joaquin, but everyone kept in touch. Then, when FB came along, this seemed like the logical place to stay connected. It is a small group, and even though many of us have not met face to face, I consider many of these girls to be very dear friends to me to this day. I regularly follow their blogs, I cry with them, we pray together. The one thing about this group is that it is a praying group. There are some of the most faithful people I have ever met in this group, and among them were Julie Kurrle.

She was a missionary down in Paraguay, and she and her husband were blessed with Timmy in 2006. They tried long and hard to get pregnant again, and adopted beautiful Ester Anahi. She was great about sending updates. She updated her newsletter and blog regularly.When she sent out messages, they ALL had the same tone, like this one from Thanksgiving 2007: